Ambien. No doubt about it.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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