Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
