Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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