this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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