best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
