So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i think i have two assholes
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I did not marry a roomba.
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