I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
