meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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