ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
