We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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