Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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