I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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