One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Is it because I queefed?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize