end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
