I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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