i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
