I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
