apparently the secret to your success is patron
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
