Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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