Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I stole a fireplace last night.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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