Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
