oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
