The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize