I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
