i was rollin on her like bob the builder
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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