It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
