sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
