dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
