I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
