I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I have fence marks all over my body
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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