I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
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