Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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