Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
this will be a night to untag.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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