Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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