I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize