Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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