I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize