her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
