Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
