I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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