Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
