I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
