hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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