I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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