I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just forgot I was standing up.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
