did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize