'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
