He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
