one two three fourrrrnication!
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
