i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
