i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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