Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize