I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
