I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
