i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
