what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
