plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
