doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
