I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize
