our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
