And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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