Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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